References UK clinical guidance from the NHS, the British HIV Association (BHIVA), and the British Association for Sexual Health and HIV (BASHH). Last updated: April 2026.
Having HIV doesn’t stop you from having fulfilling, loving relationships. With effective treatment and an undetectable viral load, you cannot pass HIV on sexually (U=U). Many people with HIV have long-term partners, get married, have children and enjoy healthy sex lives. The challenge is often more about confidence, disclosure and managing other people’s misconceptions than about the virus itself.
Here’s practical advice for navigating relationships with HIV.
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Dating with HIV
When to disclose
There’s no perfect moment. Some people tell new partners early to filter out those who can’t handle it. Others wait until trust has developed. Both approaches are valid. What matters is that you feel safe and in control.
How to tell someone
- Choose a private, calm setting
- Lead with the facts: you’re on treatment, you’re undetectable, you can’t pass it on (U=U)
- Give them time to process
- Point them to reliable information if they have questions
- Remember: their first reaction isn’t always their final one
U=U Changes Everything
| Fact | What It Means for Relationships |
|---|---|
| Undetectable = Untransmittable | No risk of sexual transmission when on effective treatment |
| Backed by major studies | PARTNER 1, PARTNER 2, HPTN 052 — zero transmissions with undetectable viral load |
| Endorsed by NHS, BHIVA, WHO | This is settled science, not opinion |
Sex and Intimacy
- If you’re undetectable, sex without condoms is safe regarding HIV transmission
- Condoms still protect against other STIs
- PrEP is available for HIV-negative partners who want extra reassurance
- Communicate openly about what you both want and need
- Erectile dysfunction, low libido or anxiety are common and treatable — don’t suffer in silence
Long-Term Partnerships
In serodiscordant couples (where one partner has HIV and the other doesn’t), the most important factors are:
- The HIV-positive partner staying on treatment with an undetectable viral load
- Open communication about health, testing and feelings
- Mutual support — the HIV-negative partner doesn’t need to be afraid
Having Children
People with HIV can have children safely. With an undetectable viral load, conception through sex is safe. The risk of passing HIV to a baby during pregnancy is less than 1% with proper treatment. See our guides on getting pregnant with HIV and pregnancy and birth.
If You Face Rejection
Rejection because of HIV says more about the other person’s lack of knowledge than about your worth. If someone can’t accept your status:
- It’s not a reflection of you
- Peer support from others living with HIV helps enormously
- Many people find that disclosure gets easier with practice
- HIV dating apps and community groups can provide supportive spaces
Read more: Disclosing your status | Telling people about HIV | What is HIV?
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I have to tell a partner I have HIV?
There’s no legal requirement to disclose in most situations, especially if you’re undetectable (U=U). Many people choose to disclose for honesty and trust, but the timing is your decision.
Can my partner catch HIV if I’m undetectable?
No. U=U means no sexual transmission when you have a sustained undetectable viral load. This is supported by extensive clinical evidence.
Where can I find support for dating with HIV?
Terrence Higgins Trust, Positively UK and local HIV support groups all offer advice and peer support for people navigating relationships with HIV.
Related reading
- Can You Get Chlamydia From Kissing?
- Can You Get Herpes From Kissing?
- Do You Have to Disclose Your HIV Status to an Employer?
- Disclosing Your HIV Status: Who, When and How
- How to Talk to Your Partner About STIs
Sources
- NHS — Sexual health conditions
- BASHH — UK clinical guidelines for STI management
- British HIV Association (BHIVA) — HIV treatment guidelines
- Terrence Higgins Trust — sexual health information
- UK Health Security Agency — STI surveillance data
Steve Page is a recognised expert on Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and STD treatments, having published numerous articles in peer-reviewed journals and presented his research at conferences around the world. He has an in-depth understanding of the latest medical research on STDs, and is an advocate for the development of new treatments and protocols to improve the health of those affected. In addition to his research, he has dedicated his career to understanding the causes and symptoms of STDs, as well as how to best treat those impacted.
